Marriage and Making It Work

February 1996

On November third, Michael and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  Although we’d lived together for several years before we got married, we cherish our anniversary as a time to remember why we fell in love. This year, two months before the date, Michael told me he would be taking me some place special. He secretly planned and plotted, making sure I had time off and arranging babysitters. He would not tell me where we were going and swore everyone to secrecy. I narrowed it down to either San Francisco or Hawaii, where we had honeymooned.

As the day drew nearer, I was certain it was San Francisco. On the morning of the third, Michael told me we had a plane to catch and said: “I bet you can’t guess where we’re going!” I didn’t want to spoil his surprise by saying San Francisco, so I threw out the first thing I thought of. “Oh, Santa Fe,” I said. “How did you know!” he said, dumbfounded.

We arrived in Albuquerque, New Mexico, later that day and Michael whisked me away to Santa Fe in the luxury of a rented Cadillac. We spent three days at a bed-and-breakfast hotel. At a nearby spa, we had side-by-side massages (his first), we shopped in the town square, dined by candlelight, and even went jogging every morning- all the things I enjoy. We fell in love again!

A good marriage, you know, does not just happen; you have to work at it. And this is especially true when you have children. Michael and I juggle three active children with his busy hospital schedule and my long hours on General Hospital. There are days we rarely say five words to each other. To keep a marriage strong, you have to break away from this mundane work-a-day existence and pay exclusive attention to one another. By taking this time to re-affirm our love, Michael and I have built a strong marital foundation.

At first Michael was uneasy about my love scenes with other men. (And I was uneasy about those fetching nurses!) Now, neither of us feels threatened by those things. It is because we occasionally get away from our routines and all the stress, and spend time remembering why we love each other. I call it marriage rejuvenation.

If couples don’t get away for that romantic interlude, I’m afraid many marriages would fall victim to stagnation. I remember feeling overwhelmed, hectic and crazy after giving birth to our third baby. That was when TV Soap invited Stephen Nichols and me to Australia. After our whirlwind tour, Michael joined me in Sydney, and then we spent some quality time relaxing on Hayman Island. It was there that we discovered Mosswood Cabernet and Barramundi- and rediscovered ourselves. My memory of Australia is romantic and wonderful. It is where I fell in love again with my husband!

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